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train

To the Woman I saw on the train yesterday

Dear Woman,

May you allow yourself to know

you are worthy of kindness

May you feel a strength welling

up within you to stand up for the one

in you who has been beaten down.

Dear Woman,

I felt the acidity of the words your partner

was striking you with,

throwing abuse at you like it was nothing

like those words weren’t sharp and hurtful,

coming from a bitterness

and an ignorance of their weight.

Dear Man,

I hesitate to call you a man, but that

is the judgement and scorn that arose

in me at seeing, sensing and feeling

the abuse you were hurling into

a public train carriage.

I spoke up for the woman you were with,

and you started verbally abusing me,

you asked who the fuck do I think I am

Dear Man,

I am a concerned human being,

witnessing the abuse of a woman on a train

and knowing IT’S NOT OK.

I am a mother who has grown daughters,

I speak from a place of concern,

What is it in you that is so broken

that you don’t see the pain you are in,

and inflicting on the woman you seem

to be in relationship with.

Dear Couple on the train,

May you wake up,

both you you.

May the courage and love that

resides within you no matter how

deeply covered over and solidified

the container housing that courage is,

be cracked open.

May you be blessed,

you are both capable of so much

better in your life.

May you be blessed.

I got on a train from Brisbane heading north yesterday, and moved from one carriage to another, a couple of times. When I found a space adjacent to a traveling couple I had no idea I had arrived into a space of friction and abuse.

This man was speaking with such anger and rage to the woman he was with I was taken aback. I could feel the tension and toxicity in the air.

Verbal abuse does hurt. But somehow as a society… we feel unable to say much when this is happening in our midst?

What about that white ribbon Andrew wears on the morning show on seven… isn’t that standing up for ‘an end to domestic violence’.  Noone had a ribbon on their jacket on this train, in fact I think there were only females of all ages in this particular carriage and this one ‘man’ who was spewing expletives out toward his partner like bullets.

At one point he hit her, so it was then I spoke up and stupidly said

“Do you want me to call the cops? You’re being VIOLENT.”

He then proceeded to hurl abuse at me and be incredulous that I would say anything about his intolerable behaviour, that was none of my business.

The conversation was pointless, I didn’t say too much more, he bellowed a bit then moved away from me with that woman he was with. It simply got moved.

It didn’t get fixed at all, it just got shifted.

So… I am left with the memory and the feeling that I deeply desire the woman gets herself some help, gets away from that relationship and that man grows up enough to seek help for his own behaviour.

I despise how powerless these drama’s can make us feel in life.

I stand for a world where we speak up for the abused and both the abuser and the abused get help. They have to be able to ask for it though.

May they be blessed is a prayer, it is how I can hand this matter over to the Divine, the power that is much bigger than myself, I don’t have all of the answers.

Grace & peace.

Denise.

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