What is this thing called ‘grieving’?
I think it is something that goes on within our body whether we think or feel we are participating in it or not.
Grief is what happens when your love no longer has a place to go.
This resonated strongly with me when I heard it, on a recording by Tori Hartman I believe it was.
I have been having some interesting conversations since saying a final goodbye to my Mother mid January. The realisation that we grieve much more than the loss of a loved one is perhaps one of the most heart opening realisations.
To realise this grieving thing is not exclusively reserved for the death of a being, but for perhaps the death of our own dreams of being. Being something other than what we are, doing something other than what we find ourselves daily doing. Living and seeing things in ways we didn’t anticipate we would from the younger eyes we used to view the world through.
I think it was Carl Jung that said, ‘There is nothing more emotionally disturbing to a child than the unlived life of a parent.’ I can relate to this from the perspective of being the child and the parent . . . I feel such grief when I consider what I deem to be the unlived life of my Mother, and indeed my Father, although he is still living his life. I see from my perspective that she lived a life filled so much with suffering, so do I grieve that too? Involunteerily or unconsciously.. or with awareness?
my thought of grief : a complete feeling of powerlessness over what is being sensed, felt, thought.
Sometimes I am struck with sadness over what wasn’t as much as what was.
I don’t really feel like I am grieving.. but how would I know, I do feel tired, and tired quite a lot … is that how my body grieves? I wonder.
I think perhaps.. grieving is as natural as loving, it flits into our awareness all the time, and it’s not until we pause and sit with it, that perhaps we may realise it’s messages for our heart and soul.
I am in the midst of wondering about this, there is nothing wrong, and nothing to fix. It just is. I just am.
If you would like to join a small group of seekers, feelers, heart tenders and me, there is a space being created in the form of an online offering, aka eCourse “Honouring Love & being with Loss”.
Honouring Love & Being with Loss
You can read some more details here : it’s still being cooked.
love Denise x
. . .
*later that day . . . (I wrote the above section in the morning of Friday 15 April . . . )
now, after lunching with a very wise friend of mine . . . I am curious further, where are my tears, why do I find it so hard to let them fall. Where in my body is this grief hiding?
A wonder in progress.